MOOM

Leaving my marriage to risk starting my life with a person I hadn’t seen or spoken to for years . A friend in a UK prison serving the end of a sentence issued abroad. He served three and a half years of the sentence in Hungary. There were multiple unresolved traumas and , well, at least when I used to know him he misused substances, surely he couldn’t have used drugs in prison. My door was closed to him for years.
‘ I’ll never be the old me again ‘, he said .
Yes yes , I know , I know , but guess what ? It’s the most rewarding love I’ve learned and experienced aside of becoming a mother.

I was sat on my sofa as the text came through , a most loyal husband sat across the room from me. My marriage was good, but just to read a message from a friend who’d almost dropped off the face of the Earth brought back all the feelings of being alive again. I could be silly again !

Three looooong years on ….He has now found a ‘new him’. It has been one hell of a ride , his mental health taking it’s toll on my mental health, reliving his traumas. I have learned how to support a person in active addiction and have watched a man grow and show determination to ‘reprogramme’ using holistic methods by himself . A dangerous thing in itself.

I have learned how to be silly again and have fun , to take risks . I balance his risky behaviours. We compliment each other , every day we smile with each other now. He is my best friend. He has taught me to be confident and to try to live each day as if no one is watching . I have used crafts to ‘ get me through’ and of course tried my hand at blogging. We have an allotment and the relationship with our families is blooming too. Oo , I’m a show off eh ?

It’s me that should say, ‘ I’ll never be the old me again ‘.

We grow together everyday , and so do the broccoli and carrots:)